Why dog people are crazy… but also totally awesome and better than you. Probably.

This morning I awoke to that constricting feeling of when your blanket starts to get wound a little too tight around you… Usually uncomfortably exposing a foot which becomes about 30 degrees colder instantly. Flailing around I finally escaped from the blankets grasp and half-asleep dug around for the phone.

Where the hell is it…. oh god I hope it isn’t on the floor… The thought of having to get out of bed before actually knowing the time was too much to deal with this morning.

Finally my hand felt the cool glass of my screen. Clicking the center button illuminated my digital Mickey sneering at me. Looking above my snarky digital dog, the clock proclaimed it was “6:57AM.” I stretched and felt the familiar and satisfying crack and pop of my back waking up. I also began to hear the scratching of the gate being moved back and forth against the tile in the kitchen.

“MISHKA! STOP THAT!”

And that started it. The chorus of pathetic howling (and barking) dogs from the kitchen echoed down the hall into my room. I heard the familiar sound of Luna (my more dog-like cat) fly over the piano (surely aiming to hit as many keys as possible) and jump up on the leather couch, coming up a little short as I heard the flail and zipper like scratch of leather as she dug her claws into it.

Often times I just make my breakfast and sit outside with Odin close to my feet watching the rest of the dogs run from one end of the yard to the other. Most of the time they stop at the shallow end of the pool to get their feet wet enough so they can collect a good amount of mud on their next circuit. Because let’s face it- my yard has more sand and dirt than grass these days. Rodeo is sprawled out on the lawn chair sunning himself while Mishka and Cheyenne wrestle around the dirt-yard. Ewe runs frantically around the pool trying to control everything with one of his beloved outside toys clutched tightly in his mouth muffling his terribly obnoxious herding dog BARK BARK BARK. For someone who isn’t a dog person, you’d probably want to rip your hair out. I mean the barking, while muffled, drives me nuts. Rodeo usually has “adjusted” the lawn chair cushions to his own liking. The girls are in fact bringing more and more dirt into the pool which I will have to clean out of the filter later.. On top of the fact that they are now wet and dirty. But for some reason i’m sitting there half-asleep way too early on this Sunday morning SMILING as I watch them create chaos all around. They’re happy. So i’m happy.

Most people don’t get that.

“There’s just so much hair…”

“Why do you have so many?” (‘scuze you?!)

“Do you really walk them… All of them?”

“Don’t you have to vacuum a LOT?”

“Girl you crazy.”

Yes. They shed. They make noise. They can be unruly (I mean honestly I think the majority of them are full of mud in the picture above.) They need exercise. They need to be picked up after. They tear up the yard…

But doesn’t your human child need breakfast (and then lunch AND dinner!) everyday? Don’t they make messes? Don’t they yell and scream for no apparent reason? Throw tantrums? Get sick and need you up all night? Break their toys? Break YOUR toys? Isn’t that part of it? Walking into the bathroom to see them covered in toilet paper with the bathtub overflowing with bubbles since they dumped the entire bottle in… And you go to grab the camera.

So do I. Except my dogs don’t have opposable thumbs so there is no bubble explosion going on. And the toilet paper temptation was remedied long ago.

But unlike people with multiple children I get weird looks, people whisper about us behind our back, and sometimes even flat out call me crazy to my face. And I can’t even understand it. Why is it so wrong, or weird, or odd for me to have multiple pets? I mean i’m not stupid I know it’s not something you see everyday… but there are people who I have had the displeasure of running into that are just flat out rude or mean to me because of it. There used to be a group of people who frequented the closest dog park to us who legitimately would pass time by talking about me while I was there with my dogs. While their dogs are screaming at the top of their lungs for a ball to be thrown, attacking other dogs for getting too close, and just generally being rude, obnoxious, and unfriendly… But i’m the freak? OK.

My dogs bring a happiness and joy to my life. No- I don’t have kids. (And for all of you who say “Oh you’ll forget about them when you have your children” and the like… That shit is rude. And makes me want to smack you.)  So these dogs are LIKE my kids. I love them for each of their little quirks, I know their barks, I know their strengths, their weaknesses, their fears, … These aren’t just 4-legged hair-making barking eating-and-shitting machines… These are my dogs. They each have their own soul, their own mind, their own energy that radiates out of them and brings me happiness everyday. They know how to do “the face” that will bring on the stupid voice I reserve especially for them when I squeeze their cheeks and kiss their noses while telling them to “stop being so f’ing cute.” They know just which barks annoy me and when to employ them to provide for maximum annoyance. You don’t have to like me. You don’t have to like my dogs.

You don’t have to like dogs at all. But I do. And if you aren’t down with that, well we just aren’t that into you either.

 

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44 thoughts on “Why dog people are crazy… but also totally awesome and better than you. Probably.”

  1. It IS odd that dog park people who, we assume, like dogs – or DOG if they only have one – would talk trash about someone who has, ummm, MORE than one dog. Hell, I’d be gassed to see you and your pack. I especially enjoyed, “That shit is rude. And makes me want to smack you.” I’m with you!

  2. I totally know where you’re coming from. I had five dogs at one point and people always made comments to me that highly annoyed me too, but they’re my best friends and I wouldn’t have it any other way! We have three dogs right now and once we get a house with a bigger backyard like we use to have I’m going to get more! They have you’re back more than most people! And are also more dependable in my opinion! And I have a kid and cherish her just the same and we also have another on the way now which doesn’t change my feelings about my dogs either!

    1. I’m with you. Got a comment the other day that I really didn’t have any girlfriends. Are you kidding? I have 5 female cattle dogs, the best girlfriends I could ever have or want for that matter! They are the love of my life and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

    2. It’s nice to know I am not crazy like everyone is telling me. I have 5 dogs and about to get #6 and I think it’s great and I have so many people telling me I am crazy and I can’t handle it. But the thing is I want to “handle” it. They bring me so much joy!

  3. Thanks for a wonderful post that had me laughing and nodding.
    I, too am the guardian of a pack….6 Aussies under the age of 30 months and relate to EVERYTHING in your article except no piano!
    Love to you and your pack as your blog makes it’s way around to my fellow Crazy Dog Lady Multiple Dog friends!!

    1. Norma, you’re the guardian of the pack? Ha! They’re AUSSIES, girl, they own you body & soul! LOL That’s my breed, too – love ’em to death. Wish I could have 6, too – if I could also have a resident mental health trainer!

  4. I have a human child and 9 fur babies and I love them all each of them in a special way. Your heart is always big enough to love. I think the people that have small hearts have trouble loving more than one son. I have 10. I have a perfect and crazy and chaotic family and I am only happy when I am with them. Even though I might be screaming eheheh But then again, who doesn’t? Loved your article ❤ Thank you for the big smiles you caused me 🙂

  5. LOVE…LOVE….LOVE.. I agree completely .. having multiple dogs is the best. I don’t have human children either but I wouldn’t trade my fur kids for anything. They are always there whenever you need them and I would do absolutely anything for them. I often tell my husband if we had to live on the streets I would give up everything except him and the dogs they (my husband included) are my life

  6. I only have one dog but if I could afford to have more, I definitely would. I think you’re awesome. And I would rather hang out with you and your dogs than someone with a child. To me some kids are ok, but all dogs are AWESOME! Don’t have any kids, never wanted any…have always wanted a dog! And always will!

  7. I LOVE my one dog (Willow/border collie) and our part-time “grand-dog” (Noro/husky)! My world would be lonely and incomplete without them!

  8. I used to always hear “Don’t you feel badly about all the *children* who need the attention you give those dogs?” I found I had the strangest impulse to drop kick their butt through some goalposts. But I cut those fidiots out of my life and I don’t hear that much anymore 🙂 Nice post. Enjoyed it!

  9. I find, of those visiting my homes…there are two camps of people. Those who are like “whoa, wtf????”; and then the “OMG, this is my Graceland” people. Those in the second group revisit and stay longer understandably so. But I’m surprised too at the animal people in my life (adopters, other volunteers, dog friends) that come over and look at me crazy. My own sister who has two little dogs that have NEVER been reliably housetrained asks…”how do you live with this many animals?” Well at least mine pee and poop outside (except the cats) and most of the time…

  10. I LOVE this! It’s wonderful. My fab five make me so happy and smile all the time, too! (I especially chuckled at your “rude…makes me want to smack you” comment!) I, too, hear from non-dog folks the unsolicited comments such as “Why five?” “Do you really NEED that many Huskies?” “How much do THEY cost you?” “So much fur.” Ummm…because I want five. I want them all and I do need them! I don’t care about, nor think about the cost as I would not have made them part of my family if I wasn’t going to care for them 100%, and if money is tight, there’s always mac & cheese for me to eat cheaply, and I embrace the fur! Love, love, love your post..

  11. Loved this post! As the mom to 4 Aussie/Aussie mixes, I get some strange comments, but am blessed to have many friends who love me even more for my ability (and my husband’s) to love so many dogs 🙂 As you so wonderfully explained, they make us happy and, rather than a sign I am crazy, they may just be what keeps me sane!

  12. I loved this, call me crazy but my three dogs love me as much as I love them. I feel sorry for people who don’t understand that, they will never have that very special bond.

  13. That was fantastic I agree with every word. I two am the proud mum of a pack of six four legged babies and one two legged daughter haha they are all my children and fulfil my life completely. Who cares what people think screw them I to have had things said about me and to me hard to believe people are so rude. Funny to think though I have six and they are all walked daily, feed great food and have the full run of inside and outside of the house and why others can’t find the time to walk just one and theirs sleeps outside in the elements cause there an “outside dog” mine are cuddled up in front of the heater or air con on the couch so I know who’s dog I would prefer to be. Funny also people say oh no my dog is not allowed inside they are an outside dog, dogs are our kids and I don’t know about you guys but I have yet to hear about an outside child so why is it okay to do that to our fur babies. Anyway whilst I write this I have approx 10 cm of couch whilst one lies completely outstretched to my right snoring his head off, another to my left cuddled into my side, one lying on my feet and another lying on my lap whist the other two lie on the other lounge as it is directly infront of the heater, I love them all they love me know matter what, they love you no matter if your fat or thin pimpled or messy haired, grumpy or sad they are there which is more than I can say for any human!

  14. Yeah, I have heard comments like ” you probably have so many dogs because you couldn’t have children”. My response is usually ” I chose to have dogs instead of children.” My own family are probably the most perplexed. I have a fab five pack, dreaming of a six pack someday.

  15. I love this! I currently have 3 4-legged kids and one 2-legged plus the occasional foster dog. Your description of waking up in morning had me cracking up. I can’t tell you how many times I open my eyes to check the time and find a dog inches from my face just waiting to sound the breakfast alarm. Too funny.

  16. You said it perfectly, and I really understand (I have with sibes and aussies too). I would not have my life any other way well except maybe adding another sibe.

  17. You go girl!! Animals are so much better than a lot of people. Thank you for loving your pet children so much.

  18. I’m one of those who might call you crazy for having 5( or 4 or 3) dogs, but a) I’d call anyone who has a combination of any 5 dependents crazy and b) it wouldn’t be an insult. Crazy is fun and interesting. 🙂 Also c) I’m pretty loony myself.

    Well socialized and trained dogs, cats, ferrets and kids (etc.) are a joy. Love the sentiments in this post.

  19. I’ve got 2 kids (both now adults) and 4 dogs (5 when my son is home or gets deployed), and yes, I had multiple dogs even when the kids weren’t adults.,They are my for legged children and grandchild, who wear blue coats (they’re all Australian Cattle Dogs) and talk funny!

  20. People that love dogs and have kids don’t forget about the dogs if they really love them. They just end up with grown up kids who also love dogs.

  21. Well said. I have 8 dogs, and always a foster or two or three…plus cats, parrots, chickens, guineas, ducks. 🙂 Someone once said to me that I spend all my money on dogs and I said yes…but if I didn’t I’d find something else to spend it on, like, hey, I could be spending it all at bars…and the person replied, “Maybe you should be.” Yeah. Wow. Just, wow.

  22. After reading this, just goes to show why this person surrounds them self with the love & friendship of dogs- Animals aren’t opinionated, rude, and have no Ego mind to deal with like humans. Nobody’s business how many pets someone has as long as they are cared for, fed, exercised & loved!! The rude people this person encounters should be muzzled!!

  23. Love this! I often think how great it would be to have a pack of dogs. Right now it’s just the one and a rotating cast of foster dogs, but one day there will be more!

  24. Great post. We can’t wait for our new dog to meet all of her doggy cousins next month.

    You should know though, that moms who have about 3+ kids DO get the snide comments and the rude looks and the “Really, another one?!” ALL. THE. TIME. Especially if they are also pregnant and/or if their children are misbehaving in any way.

  25. We have kids AND we have dogs, lots of dogs. Our house is clean and our lawn is green. Choices, it’s all about choices. Haters are just jealous ; )
    Love your blog, as I sit outside watching my dogs frolic one last time tonight.

  26. Loved this 🙂 We have 5 dogs, two cats, one horse and at the moment 2 foster puppies. Is it noisy, muddy and controlled chaos most of the time? yes it is. I’m not able to have children, but our dogs are well trained (even the “scary” pitbulls), agility competitors and some even have multiple agility titles to their credit. Some people don’t get why, but we do and that’s all that matters.

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